How and Why to Ask your Kids about their Day at School

[Do not ask “How was your day?”]

Why:

It is important to know as much information as possible about what goes on during your children’s time away from us even though we love to see that they are experiencing a whole world outside their life at home.

Our Goal:

We want to know the joys they experience, the new things they learned, and we want to be altered to any difficulties they may have encountered---especially, the ones that their teachers may not be aware of.

How to:

1. Make your questions specific

• For [younger children] (elementary/preschool children), here are some examples:

• Who did you play with at recess?

• What did you do during PE class?

• Who had a hard time in school today?

• What did you need help with today? Who helped you?

• What was your favorite thing about your day?

• For [older children], here are some examples:

• Who did you work with during the science lab?

• What was the funniest thing that happened today?

• Who did you hang out with at lunch?

• Who is your favorite/least favorite teacher this year?

• Is there anything I can do to support you today?

2. Start by talking about your day

• The more you tell them, the more they will understand how to talk about their day

• This is a skill that younger kid needs to be taught

3. Ask nothing and connect instead

• School can be tough for some kids even when it is going well

• Offer them a hug or a high five

• Spend some time making jokes and laughing with your child

• Racing them home from school for fun

• Do things make them feel safe, grounded and at home

4. Ask a question without eye contact

• This is helpful for shy or resistant children because it removes some social pressure from the situation

• Do it when you are washing dishes, and they are sitting at the kitchen table eating

• Do it while you walk with them or while you are driving in the car

• Or some kids like to do text messages with parents

5. Try the “High Low Buffalo” game

• Everyone talks about their high of the day, their low of the day and their buffalo of the day

• The buffalo is anything else they thought was interesting or random that they want to mention

• Do this consistently every night during dinner time or family time

• This will make the kids realize the game is not just about getting them to talk. It is about helping everyone in the family understand each other better and support each other --- spend a few minutes a day can save us hours in long run

Reference: Verywellfamily.com